get in, losers, we're talking to angels
Or, Wacky Star Wizard John Dee
Friends,
Happy New Year, and welcome to the first installment of Dirtbags Through the Ages! Thanks for joining me on this weird new project, which I am undertaking almost entirely so I have something fun to do while the world crumbles around all of us.
I have grand ambitions for how often I'll send this newsletter around, but the Spanish Armada also had grand ambitions to invade England in 1588, and look how that turned out.
If you're here for book news or updates, you can scroll all the way to the bottom to find those! Otherwise, let's dive right into this issue's Wacky Historical Iconoclast:
JOHN DEE: ANGEL WHISPERER
This guy's job title is so long it wouldn't fit on any business card known to man. It includes words like "occultist, alchemist, scientist, doctor, geographer, theologian, and mathematician." In other words: goals.
As a younger man, Dee began his journey into Wacky Star Wizardry by traveling throughout Europe and meeting with other scholars, who taught him about fun stuff like magic gemstones and mysterious runes. (I skim because the good stuff comes later.) After his magical European gap year(s), he came back to England, where he briefly but seriously got in trouble with the law for casting the horoscopes of then-Princesses Mary and Elizabeth.
Now, back in the 16th century, horoscopes were considered a valid science. So casting the horoscope of the king's daughters was problematic because it effectively told the world what day they would die—a thing that, in those days, people in the know liked to call uh treason.
Dee talked his way out of this, of course, because he's John Dee and, much like the honey badger that would follow four centuries after him, he did not give a fuck. The king's interrogators were reportedly annoyed by how secretive and mysterious he was while being questioned, but by the time Elizabeth I became queen in 1588, he'd rebuilt his scholarly reputation enough to be appointed her scientific and astrological advisor.
For a while, Dee seems to have been content casting on-demand horoscopes for the queen. He went on exploring things like "the mystical unity of all creation" on the side, though, because of who he was as a person.
But then Dee seems to have gotten bored with "normal science." Horoscopes? Yawn. Around the 1580s, he turned full-time to the good stuff: WITCHCRAFT. Using a sort of magical mirror, he spent basically every day trying to communicate with angels—and according to my man, he succeeded. Dee claims that many of the books he wrote were dictated to him and his assistant Edward Kelley in some kind of ancient angelic language.
(Will I be using this technique next time I'm on deadline? Yes.)
Intent on spreading the Good Word of the Angels, Dee and Kelley left court and traveled through Europe on a sort of supernatural lecture tour. Some speculate that Dee's tour was actually an opportunity to spy on other monarchs for Queen Elizabeth under the cover of "Angel Science," which is a great story and I love it, though who's to say.
By the time Dee got back to England, things started to go south. In his absence, his library had been raided and his occult instruments stolen. Even worse, soon there was a new monarch on the throne. And if you know one thing about James I, it's that this man hunted witches like it was his job. John "Wizard of the Stars" Dee, perhaps wisely, started keeping a lower public profile at about this point.
John Dee died around 1609—although both the records of his death and his gravestone have never been found. (Am I proposing Zombie John Dee? I'm not not suggesting it.)
He spent 81 years cavorting around Europe, speaking to angels, finding magic gemstones, and predicting the future through the stars. May we all live our dreams so completely.
Book Updates
In case you didn't know, I have a book coming out next month! It's called A Tip for the Hangman, and if you're into Tudor-era heretical dirtbags, it has those on every page. It tells the story of the poet Christopher Marlowe's work in Queen Elizabeth I's secret service—think Raymond Chandler meets Shakespeare in Love. Authors I adore with every fiber of my being are saying very kind things about it, and I sincerely hope you'll love it.
It's not on shelves yet, but right this very day, you can:
Preorder on Bookshop, Amazon, B&N, or through Women & Children First, my local indie
Also, if you know a friend who digs a good historical story casually told, feel free to send 'em my subscribe page!
Otherwise, until next time,
Allison