I pledge allegiance to dirtbag nation

Or, we're opening paid subscriptions baybeeeee

Hello friends!

Quick weekend update post, and then we’ll be back on our regularly scheduled cadence of handcrafted bullshit.

This is barely news if you were here on Monday, because I asked you all what you thought about it. But the response was so lovely and so kind, so here we are, officially launching…

DIRTBAG NATION: THE PAID SUBSCRIPTION!

to my editor: yes I opened my line edits, looked at them for five minutes, then closed the document and made these graphics instead. I promise I will get the book done on time. it’s going great.

As I said last week—and will continue to say, because as a reader of many Substacks myself I know the “ah shit here comes a paywall” dread—the content you’ve been receiving from Dirtbags Through the Ages will remain free. So if you don’t want to pay a dime, your experience will not change in the slightest. Times is hard. No worries. Delete this email and carry on.

However! If you find joy in this silly project of mine and would like to subsidize the effort that goes into putting this newsletter together, you would have my undying gratitude. And you can do so by clicking this button:

There are now three options for subscribing to Dirtbags Through the Ages, as follows…

Tier 1: Citizen

This is the baseline free option. Hail, Citizens! Your posts will continue to come twice monthly. I love and cherish you all.

Tier 2: Ambassador

This is the paid option, which is available at either $8 per month or $80 per year (converted to your currency; note the discount for paying upfront). You will receive all the free content that Citizens receive, as well as deeply irregular bonus content, the ability to vote in future polls, and access to exclusive events like a Dirtbag Madness elimination bracket or other dumb ideas that come to me in the shower. Ambassadors to Dirtbag Nation will also get diplomatic immunity, which as far as I can tell means you can commit any crime you want within the confines of this newsletter and I can’t extradite you.

Tier 3: Antipope

This is the option I’m including because Substack makes it a default and who am I to look a potential revenue horse in the mouth. For $150 per year, Dirtbag Antipopes receive all the same benefits as Dirtbag Ambassadors, except you will also get my baffled, delighted gratitude. I may email you asking why you chose the more-expensive option even though I ran out of ideas for bonus content to make it worthwhile.

if you thought this graphic wasn’t going to include a silly hat, clearly you haven’t read the constitution of Dirtbag Nation

Sincerity Corner

I know! Sincerity is not what I’m known for in this newsletter. But bear with me.

I love writing Dirtbags Through the Ages. It’s one of the joys of my month. I’ve always thought of myself as an awkward, not-funny nerd with silly niche interests that no one wants to hear about, and the community that’s grown up around this newsletter has really and sincerely changed the way I think about myself and my work for the better.

Hearing from you all that it’s made you laugh on a really hard day, or that you share it with your partners, or that you forwarded it to your work listserv, or that I ruined Napoleon the Joaquin Phoenix film for you—all that is incredible. Thank you. I appreciate you and your kindness and your humor and your unquenchable historical hater spirit.

And writing this newsletter is a not-inconsiderable amount of work! Both of these things are true!

Being alive, man. It contains multitudes.

I’m deliberately not paywalling the posts that take the most time and effort on my part, because the fun of them is sharing them with all of you. But if you enjoy them and want to chip in a couple bucks as a thank-you, your support will be enormously appreciated, and it’ll make me able to devote more time and energy to this silly little project.

Equally sincerely: this is not a guilt trip, just an option. I’m so happy you’re here in any capacity. I’ve said many times that I’d be grateful if three people I was not directly related to subscribed to this newsletter, and look at us all now.

occurring to me now that I didn’t include any Paul Rudd gifs in the Saul of Tarsus newsletter. an unforgivable oversight on my part.

Anyway! That’s all. I won’t keep you. Just thanks for being my favorite little community of nerds on the internet, my friends. Back next week with the usual.

Stay messy and keep living for drama,

-Allison