pepys pepys da doodly doo

Or, 12 weird facts about England's most famous diary man

Friends,

HE'S HERE!

very Lin-Manuel Miranda voice: “look at my son!”

A Tip for the Hangman is now on shelves, e-readers, and audiobook players everywhere!

I am so proud of this book, which has been a part of my life for almost eight years, and seeing it out in the world is incredible and surreal. I am so grateful to everyone who's bought, talked about, or taken pictures with their copy these past few days. It's been a truly amazing experience, and I've cried more times than I'm proud to admit.

(If you've met me, you aren't surprised by this. You've seen me cry at weirder things.)

Haven't bought your copy yet? You still can! Zoom on over to Bookshop, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, my local bookstore The Book Cellar, or your indie of choice and snag yourself one.

Now, because my brain is still fuzzy and the best I can do with a post-release hangover of this magnitude is lists, let's move on to our main course today:

12 WEIRD FACTS ABOUT BRITISH DIARIST SAMUEL PEPYS

that’s why his hair is so big, it’s full of weird facts

If you're an English major or a British historian, you've probably heard about Samuel Pepys. If you aren't, you probably haven't, because I genuinely can't think of a reason why he'd come up.

Pepys was a 17th-century member of Parliament, president of the Royal Society, and other, similarly fancy things. More importantly, he wrote diaries in a way that would put Bridget Jones to shame. His diaries are basically a beat-by-beat description of everything going on in Restoration London, so they're a primary source archivist's dream.

He was also—and I cannot emphasize this enough—a wacky, wacky individual.

it’s pronounced “peeps,” not “pips,” but this is a Top 5 all-time gif, so indulge me

Here, then, are my 12 favorite facts about Britain's most famous diarist:

1. He made out with Catherine de Valois. This is actually even creepier than it sounds, because Catherine died in 1437, and Pepys gave her corpse a smooch in 1669, to celebrate his 36th birthday. I'd have gone with a cake or something, but you do you, Sam.
   

2. He was arrested for piracy. Was he actually prowling the Spanish Main? Maybe not, but he did spend time in the Tower of London for arranging for a ship to plunder Dutch and English vessels, which for me is close enough.
   

3. He was arrested a lot, actually. Highlights include high treason, popery, high treason, unpaid court fees, and high treason. (The dedication it takes to get arrested for high treason three times is exhausting to think about.)
   

4. He buried his cheese. Faced by the approaching Great Fire of London in 1666, he ran outside, dug a hole in the backyard, and buried a large wheel of expensive Parmesan cheese (below, in case you forgot what cheese looks like) to protect it from the flames. As a Midwesterner, I respect this deeply, and would likely have done the same.

   

5. He was a Restoration frat boy. Pepys got in trouble while at Cambridge for being "scandalously overserved with drink," which is the 17th-century equivalent of getting absolutely smashed at a house party.
   

6. He was the first recorded Englishman to drink a cup of tea. Sorry, modern Brits: he wasn't a fan. No reports on his opinion of digestive biscuits.
   

7. He was a fuckboi in the worst sense. Pepys' diary includes relations with dozens of mistresses, including many that I'd classify as sexual assault. This is not a "fun" fact exactly, but it sure is a fact.
   

8. He kept a lion in his office. Thus continues my favorite trope of Weird European Men Keeping Wacky Animals In Places They Do Not Belong. See also: Lord Byron's pet bear, the alligator the Marquis de Lafayette gave to John Quincey Adams, etc.
   

9. His house almost burned down four times. No word on whether he buried cheese during each of these fires.
   

10. He almost became a spymaster. The reason he didn't: it was entirely his own idea, and King James II had absolutely no intention of paying him to create his own international espionage circle on a freelance basis.
    

11. He threw an "anniversary of my gallstone surgery" party every year. I've attended dumber parties.
    

12. He was the first recorded person to use the word "gherkin." May we all live on so vividly in history.

BOOK TOUR CORNER

I use "tour" loosely, as I will not be leaving my bedroom for the duration. But if you would like to see me talk about A Tip for the Hangman around the internet, there are several places you can do so in the next couple weeks! Here's a preview of where I'll be and when.

• Monday 2/15: In conversation with Alyssa Palombo at The Book Cellar in Chicago, IL
  7pm Central
  Register Here

• Tuesday 2/16: At the University of Michigan Honors College Seminar Series, in Ann Arbor, MI
  1pm Central
  Register Here

• Wednesday 2/17: In conversation with Susanna Calkins at The Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, AZ
  6pm Central
  Register Here

• Tuesday 3/16: In conversation with agent Jon Michael Darga and author Laura Hulthen Thomas at the University of Michigan Residential College, in Ann Arbor, MI
  6pm Central
  Registration TK

• Monday, 3/22: As part of Rogue Women Reads series on Facebook Live
  7pm Central
  Get Info

And finally, as always, if you know a friend who's interested in new places to hide their expensive wheels of designer parmesan, send them my newsletter subscribe page.

Thanks for joining me, friends! I am now off to take a post-book-release nap. TBD when I shall awaken.

-Allison