Oh totally. Paul gives self help podcaster bro vibes. Just, “I had this trauma one time but then I did psilocybin and now I’m a philosopher and you could be too if you drink this protein powder. #sponsored”
At least Peter was more like “but Jesus was actually my bff and I was there when he said these things.”
I’m mostly team John though for following Jesus like the Eras tour. He’s all, “I’m just here for the friendship bracelets. Follow me on Twitter for live concert updates!”
TEAM JOHN FOREVER. "What if I told the same story as all the other Gospel authors but made it *so poetic it's impossible to follow* and also maybe added some stuff about *sea monsters* and *zombies* and a *big tall hot lady except in a bad way somehow*" yes king go off
As a Minnesotan, I greatly appreciate this newsletter. I too hate St. Paul (the man, not my state capitol. Physical St. Paul has good restaurants, yarn shops, and wonky streets). And I too agree Duluth needs some condescending letters. I mean…the gate way to the Great Lakes my ass.
I was going to say, at least I don’t have to live in a city named after this guy, but I live in St. Louis, named after a dirtbag who did some good for France but led 2 Crusades and did various shitty things against the local Jewish population, so…
I’ll try to remember to come back to this with some kind of response to the wizard incident but first as a New Testament Scholar I must put my foot down. There was no horse! It’s a figment of artistic license. No horses were involved. They’re innocent.
and no killing him did not stop Saul’s letters. It’s quite likely Tim just kept producing them and signing on Saul’s behalf. (that is to say forgery but was much more acceptable in the ancient world-what even ancient dudes...)Please Roast Tim for his role in modern misogyny as well.
In case you didn't know, Paul almost certainly did not write Timothy 1. Many of the books attributed to Paul were not written by Paul. Seven out of the thirteen Pauline Epistles have contested authorship. (I was a religious studies major, a long time ago.)
In the same way that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were not written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John but by anonymous authors, who may have been apostles but we don't know. The gospels were later attributed to those men in the 2nd century. In the early church "who wrote it" wasn't a big deal to them. The text was more important than the authorship. Though that notion flipped in the following centuries.
Allison, this is the best one yet. I have a relative, who is sort of evangelical Christian, for complicated reasons, in spite of her basic good sense. She tells her kids that “Paul is a meanie.” This is a good explanation for grown-ups!
I've gotta tell you, you're not the only one who senses something sinister from Paul of Tarsus. This website https://www.jesuswordsonly.org/ was created to try to get Christianity back on track by pointing out that there's no way around it, Paul was a false prophet who had moments of actually trying to follow God and be at peace (Galatians). Thanks so much for this post!
I'm glad I'm not the only Christian who can't stand Paul (who, incidentally, is even my city's co-patron, together with Saint Peter...)... 😂 he kept on writing letters to EVERYONE, left right and centre, judging everything and everyone from his high horse, but has anybody ever replied to him? Eh? EH? Nope. That speaks volumes to me. 😅
Why were they left out when those Crusty Old Churchmen were putting together the ‘Official Version’ of the bible in the 4th century? Were they rude? Did all these towns just reply with long-winded written eye rolls? 🙄
Also, why are there only S/Paul’s letters included? He can’t have been the only literate Christian of the time, so what were the others saying that meant they had to be left out? (Probably just not supporting the Patriarchy enough for those Crusty Old Churchmen! Maybe a little too nice, or written by women, or something equally offensive 🙄)
Jesus’ words gave us the Golden Rule (like it wasn’t around before then 🙄), but S/Paul’s took it away!
Now going to extract my eyes from the back of my head, cos I rolled them so much 😵💫
My mind was literally blown in college when I suddenly understood one day that the Corinthians were people living in Corinth (which was around until the 19th Century, when an earthquake came along). I also assumed "Corinthians" were some kind of errant religious movement that he hated rather than a city full of people he thought were dummies.
I think you're giving short shrift to St. John of Patmos. Oh top of all the bullshit that crazy christians do in order to prepare for the rapture and the end of the world and are all "burn it down" all the time, there's the fact that this is the source of the fucking 1000 years of the 1000 years' reich.
Funnily enough, while I had S/Paul’s letters rammed down my throat at church (I’m a recovering Catholic), we were mostly spared Revelations, cos it doesn’t get used much at mass. I think it’s weird how different ‘flavours’ of Christians have different emphases on parts of the NT...surely it would be better if everyone just read the Gospels, maybe Acts of the Apostles if you’re feeling out there, and leave off the later interpretations? Certainly it would make the Western world a friendlier place! Everything after that smacks of the Law of Diminishing Sequels! Just has to get more hardcore, or more sensational, to justify its presence. 🙄
I totally blame the Council of Crusty Old Churchmen (sorry, whoever decided what the bible should officially look like) for all of this mess!
Yeah, considering how much of the bible I got read to me every Sunday and Holy Day and First Friday and all of Lent, and Jesus I went to mass a lot as a kid.... very little Revelations. Lots of Paul, though.
Sounds familiar, along with going to mass a ludicrous number of times during Holy Week each year (including the year my dad ran over my foot *before* Palm Sunday’s 3hr parade+mass+parish meeting, and I didn’t get to go to A&E til *afterwards*, because priorities 🙄).
"Allegedly, one of Saul’s miracles was casting a spirit of divination out of a girl in Greece—which, can I just say, would have royally pissed me off. Don’t take away my soothsaying powers, you absolute dick. I am an enslaved woman in 51 CE. How else am I going to make a living. I have no rights. I can’t start a Patreon." 🙌 Perfection. Love these rants so much!
Oh totally. Paul gives self help podcaster bro vibes. Just, “I had this trauma one time but then I did psilocybin and now I’m a philosopher and you could be too if you drink this protein powder. #sponsored”
At least Peter was more like “but Jesus was actually my bff and I was there when he said these things.”
I’m mostly team John though for following Jesus like the Eras tour. He’s all, “I’m just here for the friendship bracelets. Follow me on Twitter for live concert updates!”
TEAM JOHN FOREVER. "What if I told the same story as all the other Gospel authors but made it *so poetic it's impossible to follow* and also maybe added some stuff about *sea monsters* and *zombies* and a *big tall hot lady except in a bad way somehow*" yes king go off
Bahahahahaha!!!! Also the jars of clay line had me CACKLING.
As a Minnesotan, I greatly appreciate this newsletter. I too hate St. Paul (the man, not my state capitol. Physical St. Paul has good restaurants, yarn shops, and wonky streets). And I too agree Duluth needs some condescending letters. I mean…the gate way to the Great Lakes my ass.
Saint Paul the man could have benefitted from some good relaxing time in a yarn shop
I was going to say, at least I don’t have to live in a city named after this guy, but I live in St. Louis, named after a dirtbag who did some good for France but led 2 Crusades and did various shitty things against the local Jewish population, so…
Just wanted to mention that as fan of soccer team Union Berlin I hate the soccer team St. Pauli from Hamburg for sure. Just saying.
Bahahahaha!
I’ll try to remember to come back to this with some kind of response to the wizard incident but first as a New Testament Scholar I must put my foot down. There was no horse! It’s a figment of artistic license. No horses were involved. They’re innocent.
and no killing him did not stop Saul’s letters. It’s quite likely Tim just kept producing them and signing on Saul’s behalf. (that is to say forgery but was much more acceptable in the ancient world-what even ancient dudes...)Please Roast Tim for his role in modern misogyny as well.
so glad no horses were harmed in the making of this problematic saint!
I was unaware of Tim's role in all of this but rest assured when I begin to research him I'm sure I won't like him either.
"Die, if you want to, you misguided martyr!"
Lol of Tarsus. Fun and interesting!
genuine laugh from me with this one
Oh thank you! I thought I was the only one that had these strong feelings about...him. Nice to know I'm not alone and in clever company.
Totally. Hate Saul/Paul. Agree.
In case you didn't know, Paul almost certainly did not write Timothy 1. Many of the books attributed to Paul were not written by Paul. Seven out of the thirteen Pauline Epistles have contested authorship. (I was a religious studies major, a long time ago.)
In the same way that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were not written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John but by anonymous authors, who may have been apostles but we don't know. The gospels were later attributed to those men in the 2nd century. In the early church "who wrote it" wasn't a big deal to them. The text was more important than the authorship. Though that notion flipped in the following centuries.
I’m not saying this to give the dude a pass, though.
Allison, this is the best one yet. I have a relative, who is sort of evangelical Christian, for complicated reasons, in spite of her basic good sense. She tells her kids that “Paul is a meanie.” This is a good explanation for grown-ups!
I totally agree! Paul is and always will be the world’s biggest arsehole. Sorry for the lack of eloquence but - he just is.
It always sucks when somebody like this isn’t just a footnote in history, but literally created the basis of so much of a world religion’s beliefs.
I've gotta tell you, you're not the only one who senses something sinister from Paul of Tarsus. This website https://www.jesuswordsonly.org/ was created to try to get Christianity back on track by pointing out that there's no way around it, Paul was a false prophet who had moments of actually trying to follow God and be at peace (Galatians). Thanks so much for this post!
I'm glad I'm not the only Christian who can't stand Paul (who, incidentally, is even my city's co-patron, together with Saint Peter...)... 😂 he kept on writing letters to EVERYONE, left right and centre, judging everything and everyone from his high horse, but has anybody ever replied to him? Eh? EH? Nope. That speaks volumes to me. 😅
Yes, THIS. I always wanted to see the replies!
Why were they left out when those Crusty Old Churchmen were putting together the ‘Official Version’ of the bible in the 4th century? Were they rude? Did all these towns just reply with long-winded written eye rolls? 🙄
Also, why are there only S/Paul’s letters included? He can’t have been the only literate Christian of the time, so what were the others saying that meant they had to be left out? (Probably just not supporting the Patriarchy enough for those Crusty Old Churchmen! Maybe a little too nice, or written by women, or something equally offensive 🙄)
Jesus’ words gave us the Golden Rule (like it wasn’t around before then 🙄), but S/Paul’s took it away!
Now going to extract my eyes from the back of my head, cos I rolled them so much 😵💫
Duluthians? Duluthites? What are the good citizens of Duluth called right now?
My mind was literally blown in college when I suddenly understood one day that the Corinthians were people living in Corinth (which was around until the 19th Century, when an earthquake came along). I also assumed "Corinthians" were some kind of errant religious movement that he hated rather than a city full of people he thought were dummies.
I think you're giving short shrift to St. John of Patmos. Oh top of all the bullshit that crazy christians do in order to prepare for the rapture and the end of the world and are all "burn it down" all the time, there's the fact that this is the source of the fucking 1000 years of the 1000 years' reich.
Or maybe you covered him previously. Ta.
Funnily enough, while I had S/Paul’s letters rammed down my throat at church (I’m a recovering Catholic), we were mostly spared Revelations, cos it doesn’t get used much at mass. I think it’s weird how different ‘flavours’ of Christians have different emphases on parts of the NT...surely it would be better if everyone just read the Gospels, maybe Acts of the Apostles if you’re feeling out there, and leave off the later interpretations? Certainly it would make the Western world a friendlier place! Everything after that smacks of the Law of Diminishing Sequels! Just has to get more hardcore, or more sensational, to justify its presence. 🙄
I totally blame the Council of Crusty Old Churchmen (sorry, whoever decided what the bible should officially look like) for all of this mess!
Yeah, considering how much of the bible I got read to me every Sunday and Holy Day and First Friday and all of Lent, and Jesus I went to mass a lot as a kid.... very little Revelations. Lots of Paul, though.
Sounds familiar, along with going to mass a ludicrous number of times during Holy Week each year (including the year my dad ran over my foot *before* Palm Sunday’s 3hr parade+mass+parish meeting, and I didn’t get to go to A&E til *afterwards*, because priorities 🙄).
"Allegedly, one of Saul’s miracles was casting a spirit of divination out of a girl in Greece—which, can I just say, would have royally pissed me off. Don’t take away my soothsaying powers, you absolute dick. I am an enslaved woman in 51 CE. How else am I going to make a living. I have no rights. I can’t start a Patreon." 🙌 Perfection. Love these rants so much!