Fantastic. She sounds like quite the character, but perhaps a woman best appreciated at a distance. And she's be easy to spot in those hats.
Random pet name stories.
Years ago I was living at a hostel for Catholic students and I had a cat called Satan. Our chaplain, a priest whose sense of humour came with a healthy disrespect for Church authority (his favourite movie was Life of Brian) , was quite fond of the cat and could be heard calling "here, Satan, here puss puss".
I later had a cat called Hades. He ended up adopting a kitten who utterly worshipped him and used to sleep cuddled up beside him. Kitten got named Faust.
I think this might your best Dirtbag yet. I knew that Alice was a little crazy, but I had no idea it was this glorious. She seems like she would have been great to party with but a headache if you were involved with her in any serious way. I imagine her entering a room like a hurricane, causing as much chaos as possible and then sitting back and enjoying it. Thank you so much Allison for the little pieces of joy you deliver to my inbox, I look forward to reading them every time.
The children of larger than life parents have a hard time moving beyond the “Oh, yeah, well watch this!” oppositional stance taken to shore up their budding sense of self as separate from that parent, as a child or teenager. Alice was stunningly beautiful, and obviously very intelligent. Very entertaining, but still a very sad story, really. You do such good work!
When I was a kid, I had a cute little poopydog named Cactus Chomp. If anyone he didn’t know and tolerate got too close to me, his hair would stand on end and he’d start threatening, growling and chomping like he was mentally chewing and swallowing. If any other kid actually picked a fight, he had to be held back. Weird, cuz I was a scrappy mini-kid who could take on the boys no prob.
My dog’s name is Alice Doris. For Halloween last year I dressed her as (Queen Liz I’s nemesis) Lettice Knollys. We still call her Alice Doris Lettice Knollys. I think Emily Spinach is pretty good too though.
this is the best thing I have ever seen with my eyeballs. thank you for bringing this into my life. I hope Alice Doris Lettice Knollys is having an incredible day as she deserves.
Alice! What a dirtbag. Love this piece. How do you find the scoops?
I always wanted to name our pets something original but hubby and kids wouldn’t have it. Not even a celebrity name. I once met a chihuahua named Melanie Griffith.
AMAZING!!!! Such a delight! I adore her and you! We all need unhinged heros! Yesterday I drank a scotch and smoked a cigarette inside the house because I was watching The Crown and didn't want to be left out of the fun:) To Alice!
Didn't she also talk shit about FDR and the New Deal a ton along with dumping on Eleanor a lot? I know Archibald Roosevelt became an insane far-right asshole and Theodore Jr. also condemned FDR, so maybe I'm getting the Roosevelt kids mixed up. (They all kind of seem like they were either dirtbags OR heart-breakingly sad with war deaths and suicides.)
Yeah, she was also very anti-New Deal. Honestly the only thing I know about Archie Roosevelt was that he had a pet badger named Josiah, and I'm kinda bummed to learn he didn't just keep being Whimsical Badger Child for his whole life.
Fantastic. She sounds like quite the character, but perhaps a woman best appreciated at a distance. And she's be easy to spot in those hats.
Random pet name stories.
Years ago I was living at a hostel for Catholic students and I had a cat called Satan. Our chaplain, a priest whose sense of humour came with a healthy disrespect for Church authority (his favourite movie was Life of Brian) , was quite fond of the cat and could be heard calling "here, Satan, here puss puss".
I later had a cat called Hades. He ended up adopting a kitten who utterly worshipped him and used to sleep cuddled up beside him. Kitten got named Faust.
Love the cat name. Hehe.
I love knowing all things this newsletter & your comment introduced me to.
I think this might your best Dirtbag yet. I knew that Alice was a little crazy, but I had no idea it was this glorious. She seems like she would have been great to party with but a headache if you were involved with her in any serious way. I imagine her entering a room like a hurricane, causing as much chaos as possible and then sitting back and enjoying it. Thank you so much Allison for the little pieces of joy you deliver to my inbox, I look forward to reading them every time.
The children of larger than life parents have a hard time moving beyond the “Oh, yeah, well watch this!” oppositional stance taken to shore up their budding sense of self as separate from that parent, as a child or teenager. Alice was stunningly beautiful, and obviously very intelligent. Very entertaining, but still a very sad story, really. You do such good work!
Outstanding dirtbaggery today. Not sure we could ask for more than hats, snakes and audacity! Bravo, Allison!
When I was a kid, I had a cute little poopydog named Cactus Chomp. If anyone he didn’t know and tolerate got too close to me, his hair would stand on end and he’d start threatening, growling and chomping like he was mentally chewing and swallowing. If any other kid actually picked a fight, he had to be held back. Weird, cuz I was a scrappy mini-kid who could take on the boys no prob.
this is exactly the kind of response I was hoping for. 15/10, would die for Cactus Chomp.
My dog’s name is Alice Doris. For Halloween last year I dressed her as (Queen Liz I’s nemesis) Lettice Knollys. We still call her Alice Doris Lettice Knollys. I think Emily Spinach is pretty good too though.
this is the best thing I have ever seen with my eyeballs. thank you for bringing this into my life. I hope Alice Doris Lettice Knollys is having an incredible day as she deserves.
Also what does a Lettice Knollys dog costume consist of. I have so many questions and all of them delight me.
i will share a photo in a note because I can’t share it here!
Emily Spinach is truly the greatest
This is my favourite of all your posts!
“You say ‘totally self-centered pleasure-bent noncontributing life” like it’s a bad thing,’ this bitch said to the Washington Post. 👏🏼👏🏼
Alice! What a dirtbag. Love this piece. How do you find the scoops?
I always wanted to name our pets something original but hubby and kids wouldn’t have it. Not even a celebrity name. I once met a chihuahua named Melanie Griffith.
I once met a cat named Spaghetti.
If you’re not carrying a snake around in your purse I’m not interested.
AMAZING!!!! Such a delight! I adore her and you! We all need unhinged heros! Yesterday I drank a scotch and smoked a cigarette inside the house because I was watching The Crown and didn't want to be left out of the fun:) To Alice!
exactly the kind of toast our queen (and you) deserves!!
OMG
So the Hunter Biden of her day.
Didn't she also talk shit about FDR and the New Deal a ton along with dumping on Eleanor a lot? I know Archibald Roosevelt became an insane far-right asshole and Theodore Jr. also condemned FDR, so maybe I'm getting the Roosevelt kids mixed up. (They all kind of seem like they were either dirtbags OR heart-breakingly sad with war deaths and suicides.)
Yeah, she was also very anti-New Deal. Honestly the only thing I know about Archie Roosevelt was that he had a pet badger named Josiah, and I'm kinda bummed to learn he didn't just keep being Whimsical Badger Child for his whole life.
I don’t have to tell you which one is Alice Roosevelt 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣